Today I actually slept until 2pm. I think I am getting lazy. I was up playing different computer games after working a 12hour shift so I think I was just tired. So what have I done since I woke up played computer games. LOL It has been raining today off and on so really didn't get to do any outside work done, even though I have plenty of inside work to keep me busy. But thats my story and I am sticking with it.

I have been emailing different people just trying to keep up emails but Alot of people don;t answer. I might get a email every once and awhile, then I can't remember what I emailed them about. Anyway Peter's older daughter had her baby last month. Its a shame we couldn't have the money to fly out and be with her. She and her husband live in Louisiana USA. They had a girl named her Rachel Erin )hope I spelled that right) she has sent pics and she is so cute. Peter daughter has lived in the USA for over 5 years she move there when I move here. I have met all Peter children and they all are very nice to me.

This week has gone by very fast seems like the older you get the faster it goes. My daughter anniversary of her death is this month. The 19th which is on a Monday and I just don't know whether I should take off work or just on to work to keep my mind off of it.... I have so many first this year and then there will be the funeral that I had back in April 29th of last year. Her father was suppose to put up a tomb stone for her grave. Thats what he told my Mom anyway. I had my other daughter to go check about 2 weeks ago to see if he had done it. Guess what no stone up at her grave. I played for all the funeral at least he could put the stone up at her grave. What a loser.... I guess I will call my mom to see if my other daughter has called her to tell her about the no stone at the cemetery. I don't think me getting in contact with him will do any good. I know he is still upset with me about the divorce. But I don't think the children we had together has anything to do with our divorce should be separate issue. But he seems to take everything personal and the kids that came out of our marriage are paying for it. Not right but what could I do. Stay married to him ???? I should think not.... Maybe not married my second husband(that was for sure since I ended up divorcing him also) Well I can't be blamed for his actions. Is really pitiful that he can't even buy a tombstone for his own daughters grave. He never had a relationship with any of his kids and he still don't want to have anything to do with his children that are living he made it plane at the funeral by not even talking to them. Well he did say a few things to his son but the other daughter he didn't. I don't even think he has seen his grandchildren. Sounds like I am bitter, but I am really not, he has missed out on knowing these beautiful people that I gave birth to, oh yeah at time you think how in the world am I ever going to make until these kids grow up, but there are more moments of gosh I love them so much than there are the bad times. All the mothers out there will know what I am talking about and father also that are involved with their children.

I am posting a pic of Ireland, which is of a dolmen, burial tomb of the druids(I think I spelled that right) Hey give Peace a chance.

Gee its been awhile since I last posted. I told myself that I wouldn't do this, that I would try to post something everyday.... Then weeks go by and here I am. The good news is that I don't have to have another MRI until next year my tumor in my ear hasn't grown,it is still 4mm. I have been referred to a neurosurgeon in Dublin. Just to get me in the system. I don't know at this point whether I will go with surgery or not. I do have radiation as a option but they don't offer it here in Ireland. I have joined a support group for acoutic neruoma on the Internet which I find it very informative. So I have lots of time to decide unless symptoms gets worse.

Nothing much really has happen since my last post. Or maybe they have and I just forgot them LOL I started getting e-mails from some old friends of mine that I went to high school with, it seems rather strange and exciting at the same time. Strange because why would they want to talk to me after all these years and exciting to catch up on all that has happened. Trouble is I write these big long emails telling them of what is going on in my life, and I get two or three sentences out of them. Either I am a big mouth or their life has been so boring. LOL Go figure???? I really think I am a big mouth.....

Went out to the pub last weekend(first time since October) have 4 pints and a glass of beer and was drunk. LOL Not much going on in the pubs lately. We go to hear the music and get the local gossip. Peter got me a rose bush for Valentine's Day. Well it was after V- day but who cares anyway. We share our love everyday and really don't need some commercial holiday to tell us go out and by something for the one you love. That's the way we look at it anyway. He buys gifts throughout the year. Shows his love daily and I would rather have that.....After having said all that it would have been nice to get a big diamond ring...LOL One of these days.

The sun is shining here today. I should be outside enjoying it, but seems like I just don't have the motivation to do anything these days. I need to have my thyroid checked. I am taking a pill a day but maybe that needs to be increased. It might be that I am more depressed. It is getting close to the year anniversary of my daughter's death and I find myself thinking more about her. About two weeks ago was the first time ever that I dreamed of her and it was so good. I gave her lots of hugs, and I didn't want to quit dreaming. It was like I was with her and we was just hanging out. Grief does get easier with time(even though you don't want to hear it at the time) but you still have this empty feeling in your heart that don't go away. I will post some pics of the funeral

I do have lots to be thankful for and one is the love of a good man and of course my family.

I haven't written her for awhile now. My back is much better now I started back to work Monday wearing my back support,my back was a little sore after 12 hour shift, but felt the back support was really helpful. My job isn't really all that hard. We only have about 21 patients in the nursing home. We have a few that are really heavy. I try to use the methods that are taught to me during my years of nursing. The older I get the more difficult it is to have the strenght that I had when I was younger. Anyway thats the way it is. I am trying now to research another profession that I can get into so I can get out of nursing all together. I have been a nurse for over 25 years. I have worked in hospitals, doctors offices, other nursing homes, for a place that ok's drugs to chemists for medicaid and a place for behavior problems for teenagers. I am just burnt out. Is it all give give give, you get nothing in return. Not only do you give to the patients but also to the people that you work for,and it gets to be too much.

So Peter has came up with this idea to buy lots of things in bulk and sell them either flea market or maket yard that we have, now just have to fiure out what sells and what doesn't. Which isn't easy, right now they have sites that sell grates of suff in England but you don't get to pick your items, well you get to pick what items are on a pacticular crate but not individually. I was thinking more of hangbags,perfume and maybe some kind of house hold item... Thats as far as I have gotten in my thinking process. Maybe this week we can come with some sore of idea. Two minds are better than one so I hear anyway.

As far as my tumor in my ear goes, I am going to take the wait and see approach. I had a MRI recently and went back for a check up on the 31st of this month. It is only 4mm. Which is very small at this point to do anything to, so I am to go back for another MRI in a years time to see if it has grown and will deal with it at that time if it has gotten bigger. This type of tumor usually grow very slow, usually has to get the size of 2.5-3cm before it can cause serious problems. Now of course you can have symptoms before it become as big to cause serious problems. I already have the ringing in my ear. The most serious it can get that is grows and starts pressing on your spinal fluid and you can actually die. I have seen two procedures that can treat acoutic neruomas from this site. Well I can't find a way to add this link as of yet when I do I will add this link incase someone stops by this page and is interested.

I finally got enough energy to take down my Christmas decorations. What was a simple chore took me almost all day. LOL It was the computer breaks I just had to take between cleaning that took so long. LOL All put up for another year. Next year I might not even bother. My daughter in law emailed me and told me that her and my son are planning on coming to Ireland for a visit sometime in the year 2008. A lot of people have actually said they would like to come but haven't showed up yet. The only people that have came was my dear friend of 34 years. She and her husband came 2004. Wow its been about 3 years ago. It doesn't seem that long at all. My sister and her husband has been coming for 2 years now and haven't made it so far. She really has some problem with her son Doug. He is on drugs. She just doesn't realize he is using her right now, because he has never admitting he even has a problem with drugs. She feels sorry for him and tries to help him out. I did that with my daughter so I can't fault her for doing this. This drug problem is very bad and I don't think you ever get it a thought until it hits you personally. You then begin to go over in your head the things that have happen that you thought was a little strange but at the time it just went over your head. So you have your head int he sand most of the time, because the addict doesn't want you to know the extint of their drug use and you just don't ask questions because you want to believe they are living this life that they say they are living. Just a circle......well I am going try to wrte more often, but for now my head hurts.