I feel so depressed today, and really have no reason to be feeling this way. Maybe its the down after all I have done for the last few weeks. Peter had mention going to see his son and wife yesterday and seems like I was all for it at the time. Now I just couldn't be bothered. I don;t want to do anything but set in front of this computer playing computer games. Checking my email seeing if anybody got in contact with me and getting more depressed when I find out nobody has contacted me. Wanting to get out of this mood but not doing anything to help myself get out of this mood. It does help when I do write it all down here in my blog. Helps in what way I have yet to realize. I just guess getting it all down kind of helps me vent and then I can go back over it maybe in a weeks time and see what was going on for me on these kind of days. I haven't bee sleeping very well since the death of my daughter. I usually go to bed way before Peter now he is saying good night to me while I am still up on the computer. My sleep pattern has completely changed and I wake up very tired at times because of it. The days that I do have to go into work I go to bed around 10pm then toss and turn for another 3 to 4 hrs before I finally get to sleep and I wake up wrecked facing a 12 hour shift. Just to do it all over again the next night. No matter how many hours I do get to sleep on my days off I wake up around 10am.
The sun is shining and its a pretty day here, I couldn't even be bothered to go outside, well I did for 10 minutes then came back in just to get on the computer again.....I know things could be alot worse for me and I should be grateful blaaaa blaaaa blaaaa Sometimes I just don't feel like being grateful and I feel like my world is crashing in.....Just one of those days.
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