Being on night shift has reminded me of what my life use to be.....I was working mostly night shifts when I lived in the USA. Since I have moved to Ireland I been working day shift. The patients hae gotten heavier and I have back problems from it, so I have been filling in for night shift nurses for one reason or another. My back doesn't act up as much when I work night shift as I have noticed since I have been filling in for other nurses. A shift opened up on nights so I went ahead and took it.... Now everything is coming back to me about night shift.... I can't remember the days anymore for it seems like I go to work sleep and go to work so I am constantly forgetting the days... I hate it when that happens. I blame it on night shift and not me getting older...LOL The reason I call it the living dead because you feel that way sometimes, especially when your worked your shifts and your trying to get back to normal hours for the rest of the week. Like right now, I have finished my two twelve hour shifts and I can't go to sleep yet I can't do anything else either, so I just sit around like a zombie until sleep finally comes to me. If I had to carry on a conversation with someone I just don't think I could handle it. The drive home for me was enough. I remember one time I had the big idea of doing grocery shopping after getting off a 12 hour shift. I was wondering around the store didn't remember what the heck I was there for and think this was a bad idea, when my ex husband came up to me while I was looking at the eggs, we was married at the time and I had no idea he was going to be at the store, he just started laughing at me because I just looked so lost. I couldn't help but laugh at myself also because I was so sleep depraved I had no idea what I was laughing at,plus I was lost because I didn't need eggs anyway. Well it was funny at the time.or maybe I just thought it was funny at the time. I feel like that at this time standing staring at the eggs.
As I get older I find myself reflecting on things I have done in the past. Some of them good and some of them not so good. I was getting out pics this week to send to my son. He didn't have any pics of his childhood so after months I finally got it together to go through some of the pics to send to him. It brought back a lot of memories that I had forgotten about. I did have some good times in my life and lots of laughs. I think of I had to go through it again. I would not have gotten married so young and not have children. Don't get me wrong I love my children very much, but the worry and heart break you have with them at times it quite unbearable. You are a mother for the rest of your life that neers goes away and it gets harder as they get older and have a life of their own, because then you just have to stand by and see them make their own mistakes without trying to be a intruder in their life, and when you do finally get tired of holding it in and say something to them, you end up sticking your foot in your mouth and them not speaking to you because you said something they didn't want to hear.... Catch 22 you just can't win. LOL well that's enough for now I find myself getting the egg feeling really bad now...LOL
